I love Dairy, but he doesn’t love me back.
No matter how much I try to involve him in my life, he always gives me trouble.
He causes me stomach pain.
He gives me cystic acne on my chin.
I try to spend time with him on all-inclusive vacations at the buffet. Even if I choose yogurt, he doesn’t like me.
I try to bring him to the morning meeting at my company in the form of cream cheese and he turns his back on me.
I even try to bring him to the ice cream shop to spend time with my son and he still gives me a hard time!
I’ve decided that it is time to get a divorce, Dairy and I have been separated for quite sometime and life is better without him.
I sleep better.
I think better.
I look better.
I FEEL better.
Dairy, I don’t love you no mo’.